Do you have what it takes to become a QUANTUM MECHANIC?

Not just anyone can be a quantum mechanic. It takes determination, drive, imagination and money. Most of all, money. Bob is putting a son through medical school.

Nation crying for fully trained QUANTUM MECHANICS.

That's right, friend, the nation is crying for fully trained quantum mechanics. Can't you hear it? You can't? Well, be very still. Listen off in the distance. "Wahhh!" Hear that? That's the nation crying for fully trained quantum mechanics.


Yep, quantum mechanics make big bucks. Heavy bread. They're rolling in dough. They carry big wads of 10's and 20's in their pockets. A lot of MONEY. They drive Cadillacs and buy their wives minks. And they eat steak.


You get this professional cyclotron with your course -- and it's YOURS TO KEEP!

This course teaches you all you need to know about quantum mechanics. There isn't a single thing about quantum mechanics left out.

Wrong, electron breath! But it's close. We teach you a whole bunch of stuff. Mesatron balancing. Quark realignment. Neutrino lubrication. Proton tune-up. How to use a molecule wrench.

You get professional equipment to learn with.

You will receive a professional cyclotron, actual atoms, a years' supply of preparation A for your atomic piles, back issues of Scientific American to July 1957, and a bill for your mailman's hernia operation. Not to mention our bill for $675. Which is cheap when you consider how proud you'll be to hear your son say "My daddy's a Quantum Mechanic."

Listen to what these satisfied customers say!

"Like, you know, this course, you know, it like, uh, expanded my consciousness, you know. And I need all the consciousness I can get, you know?"
PAT HEAD, San Francisco, Calif.
"One of my most proud moments was getting my diploma last May. I enrolled right after the war. That was the Big One, son. W. W. II!"
"POP" CHERRY, Sun City, Ariz.
"I used to be Prime Minister of a major European nation. Then I took this course. Now I drive a big car, eat steak, and make over $6.00 an hour."
HARRY DEAN II, Tater, Ark.


I hereby guarantee that, without a doubt, this is the only course of its kind in the world. You'll be completely satisfied or I'll cheerfully keep your money. -- Bob

Bob's School of Quantum Mechanics
A Division of Bob's Conoco Service Station
7036 State Road 29
East Belch, North Dakota 66666

Approved by:

  • Peruvian Ministry of Agriculture
  • Bob


of the Spanish-American War

Reprinted from Purdue Engineer Magazine
See a scan of the original at Rob Salgado's site.