1. Describe your problem:

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

4. Problem Severity: __A) Minor __B) Minor __C) Minor __D) Trivial

5. Nature of the problem: __A) Locked Up __B) Frozen __C) Hung __D) Shot

Recommended Solutions:
A) Get the key.
B) Take out of the freezer.
C) Cut down.
D) File a police report. Leave me out of it.

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

If your answer to #6 is no and your answer to #7 is yes,
my only question is Why?

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? _________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

17. If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in.

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel?

20. Tell me about your childhood. (Belay that, I could care less.)

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? YES__